The challenge of walking with the God who knows me
Names changed throughout except in some cases where the person involved has been or is in ministry.
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 2 Cor 5:17
Comments, questions or discussion can happen on Facebook
1 John 5:13 (NIV)
“I write this to you who believe in the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life.”
I had come to meet Jesus for the first time by myself through a booklet. I was in fact so withdrawn from people that it would have been difficult to come to him any other way. There was however a weakness that resulted, I was not sure that I had really come to faith. I would hear others talk of their encounter with Jesus and they would use terms that I was unfamiliar with. I was constantly questioning whether I had jumped through the right hoops. Later on there were still more difficulties as I realised that I had not understood much of what was right doctrine when I had prayed. Could then my prayer have been effective. The problem with these doubts was that I could not grow. Any steps forward that I took were very soon met with a question of did I have a foundation to go forwards with. I was building on quicksand and it was both futile and desperately disturbing.
Jesus had foreseen this problem and had arranged a solution. The day after I prayed a Christian music group was to play at the school. I could have talked to them, and they would have been delighted to help me, but I did not have the courage to tell them what had happened. So, I despised the solution Jesus had arranged.
My mother seeing my isolation was a bit desperate do get me involved in anything that would involve other people. When she noticed that I started going to church she found a Church Youth Fellowship and arranged for me to be involved, with a lift and all. Quite amazing when, she had no real spiritual interest at that point! That was really helpful and I began to break out a bit and make friends. Once I talked with the curate. He, suspected how wobbly I was, shared the gospel with me and I prayed again. That helped my uncertainties and for a while I had some peace of mind, but after a while all of the doubts came back. Now it was not a question of whether I had jumped through the right hoops but more a matter of was I up to it and was God up to saving me.
When I went to University in Edinburgh I quickly got involved with some Christians whom I met there. I went to some of the Christian activities put on for the ‘fresher's. There, I met Jonathan. We talked a little and he invited me back to his room in the halls of residence. We talked in sufficient detail for him to work out that I was a bit uncertain of where I stood. He invited his friend Jeremy to come and meet me. Jeremy shared the bridge illustration and asked me where on the diagram I thought I was. I put myself in the gap between Man and God. He suggested that I pray again, primarily to put a stake in the ground and say from this point on there are no more doubts. So, I prayed. Then he shared a couple of verses that really helped me. In the first Jesus says “I stand at the door and knock, if anyone opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me.” (Revelation 3:20 NIV) Jesus had made a promise, all that was needed of me was to open the door and he promised he would come in. This he coupled with a second verse “God is not a man that he should lie.” (Numbers 23:19 NIV) Here was something I could hold on to. There was a promise and a certainty that the promise would be fulfilled. This brought to an end my doubts, I could go forwards in faith.